When I moved to Stamford, I was hoping to meet new people and make some friends--a sentiment that most people have when they move anywhere occupied by other human beings. Like most people, the time I had the most satisfying social life was in college. During my university days (I love using that phrase because it makes me sound like a minor character in The Great Gatsby), my friends were an incredibly varied bunch. There were Christians and athiests, liberals and conservatives (although...mostly liberals...I did go to school in a hippie town, by choice), tall and short...and of course, male and female. And I think I had the perfect ratio: about 50/50.
And that's how it should be. You need guys and girls in your life because they bring different things to the table. Preferably, its as close to 50/50 as humanly possible, especially if you're single.
I am currently nowhere near 'preferably.' I live in Fairfield County, Connecticut. Have you ever met guys from here? The overwhemingly majority are guys I wouldn't want to be within 50 yards of, for any reason. I have met more intolerable males in the course of a month living here than I did in all four years of college combined. Ego, self-obsorbedness, and expecting everyone to worship you is the norm, not the exception. While I guess this makes me look like a really great guy to anybody who gets to know me in comparison to that, there are plenty of downsides.
That downside is that currently, my ratio is nowhere near 50/50...its in the vicinity of 90/10 tilted towards the females. In some ways, that is awesome. In other ways, it's completely aggrivating. However, the question is whether this is a problem. And that is a question I never can answer.
You see, when you actively try to 'solve' this problem, it inevitably makes things worse. Because you either have to spend time with people who you don't really like (never good) or try to change yourself to attract people you also don't really like (also not good) or get yourself into situations you don't want to be in for the purposes of finding people you DO like (which usually doesn't work). I've tried all these things, and everytime, it fails, not surprisingly.
Then there is the sensible solution, which is to admit that it isn't a big problem and that it will work itself out naturally. However, this involves waiting. And waiting is something I'm pretty god-awful at, unless it's waiting in the form of procrastination, at which I'm a Rhodes Scholar. Yet this is the only solution that won't lead towards therapy and possible alcoholism. You can't change yourself. You can do things to grow, but changing yourself--to be more accepted--is not natural and blows up in your face approximately 103% of the time. The truth is, maybe, in a rich suburb, I get along better with girls than guys. There's nothing wrong with that.
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Rare Disease Day 2024
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